It's too late for us

Updated: Jul 3

I often from mothers that they are afraid it's too late for them and their daughter.


What's interesting about this is that I hear it from mothers with twelve year old and thirty seven year old daughters, alike.


It leaves me wondering why do we doubt ourselves and our ability to change?


And let's not forget that when mothers reach out they are asking me to guide them, so they're not in this alone!


They're gaining new insight, tools and approaches to connect with their daughters.


And the biggest resource you have going for you is that no matter how long you haven't been speaking or how much your daughter rejects you, she will always crave a relationship with you.


Why do I know this? Because I've gotten to know hundreds of mothers and daughters who all say the same thing, they want to feel loved and understood by their mother.


At my most recent retreat, when asked what they wanted from their mothers, the teen girls shared:

  • to feel more comfortable talking to my mom

  • to have better communication

  • to get closer

  • to feel understood

  • to be more connected

Some of these girls were already close with their mom and some felt distance. But they all wanted the same thing, to be understood.


And what did their mothers want from their mothers? The same thing - to feel heard and loved.


This is where my handy equation comes in, yet again!

Feeling Heard + Feeling Understood = Feeling Loved


That's all mothers and daughters want and need from each other.


And it's possible to get there with the right guidance.


The problem is that if our mothers didn't know how to do this, then we didn't learn how to do this either.


And it's damn hard work to change patterns that run generations!


So if you're feeling like it's too late, that no one can help, she'll grow out of it or nothing will ever change - this is for you.


The key is knowing that you can benefit from a closer relationship NOW.


Because in the meantime, more hurt and distance piles up for both of you.


It's as simple as you raising your hand and saying "I'm ready". And then leave the rest up to me.


Two options for support for you today, Mama:


1. Private Coaching for Mothers or Daughters (and both!). This is where you get me by your side everyday for 3 months.


2. My Mother-Daughter Summer Retreat that I'm hosting with my lovely Mama, is on July 17th in Coatesville, PA


We're in this together,

xo Hilary