This week I've decided that we should make decisions like we should dance, as if no one is watching.
I saw this quote on Instagram and it just clicked.
I used to be a victim to thinking about what would make everyone else happy before thinking of myself.
And typically what would happen is that no one is happy.
Take for example, my daughter's first birthday party.
We had moved into a new house that we hadn't filled with furniture yet or even painted all the walls for that matter.
I was running a business, commuting almost two hours a day to work and busy finding my place in a new area.
I didn't have time to breath, much less plan a first birthday party like I read about in the mommy blogs.
But instead of thinking what worked for me when planning her birthday party, I thought of everyone else.
I planned the menu with everyone else's dietary restrictions in mind.
A regular and vegetarian chili? No problem.
Egg, dairy and nut allergies? I got this.
I planned the party to happen inside on a beautiful fall day as to not make anyone too cold outside.
On top of a cake and the regular party menu, I baked sugar cookies, decorated and packaged them for everyone to take home.
Then the weekend before, I decided I needed to paint the dining room and sunroom doors before the party.
It felt essential to hide the green walls that was in all the original rooms and didn't match my decor.
What kind of Mom would I be if my daughter's birthday party wasn't Pinterest perfect in our new home?
And what kind of Mama showed up on the day of her daughter's first birthday party?
You guessed it...a tired, frazzled and anxious one.
Trying to meet everyone's needs except her own and the birthday girl's.
Guests ended up playing outside while the entire party was set up inside.
The vegetarian didn't eat the chili.
The kids with allergies brought their own food.
And many of the carefully decorated and wrapped acorn cookies were left behind.
As I watch that new mother back in my mind, I feel so sad for her.
She was trying her best to make everyone else happy except the people that really mattered.
She was making choices based on what she thought other people would enjoy while neglecting herself.
Oh how much more relaxed I would have been if I made choices for that party like no one was watching.
I would have created the menu that made sense for my family and then let the others know what would be served so they could plan accordingly.
I would have looked past the green walls and embraced the historic charm of my 1950's home.
I would have stuck to my budget and original plan so I didn't spend hours in the kitchen or too much money on the extra details.
When we know better, we do better.
This is my new mantra, I forgive myself for what I didn't know then and look towards the future with a newfound clarity.
Making decisions that work for without running it through the filter of "what would make everyone else happy/excited/comfortable/impressed?".
And now I can finally breathe.
What decision would be easier for you to make if you pretended like no one was watching you?